just survived the first fart of the relationship.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
