It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
