there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
