pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
