ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
