that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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