I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
