I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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