i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
