my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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