I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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