You're completely useless in the revolution.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
