I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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