remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
