My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
