I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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