just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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