So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
