i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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