did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
