It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
