maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
