Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
