i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
