Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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