Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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