how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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