I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Randomize
