so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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