I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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