im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
