He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
