What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
