He asked to "fluff my boner.."
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
