every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
