I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
