we're blogging at a bar
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
