By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
