Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Randomize
