my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
