He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
and she was petting her beer can
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
They have beer where we have blood.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
