we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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