I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
