You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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