no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
