whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
