therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
