I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
