So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
