I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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